last week i read a book called "the note" by angela hunt. the premise of the book is a note that survived a plane crash that were last words from a father. the note was short and sweet "t, all is forgiven. i love you. dad" the book was very good. thru her search for the recipient of the note the heroine of the book must battle her own demons and find some reconciliation of her own.
it made me wonder what my last words would be and who would i want them to go to. if i were to die today, are there any i should reconcile with? are there any in my life who don't know of or doubt my love for them? or should i instead send my thanks to someone? who and why? or is there some other word that should be said? again why and who?
this is not meant to be a melancholy note. it was to recommend a book and share with you some of the thoughts of my mind...it is after all "my mind out loud" hehe ;-)
ps. for those of you who recently have posted comments and found them gone, if they contained your email address, i removed them for your protection. thanks for the comments. they were read and appreciated. and your email is now in my email in a safe place.
28 February 2009
23 February 2009
opposites
During our prayer time a couple of days ago we were praying for the Holy Spirit to come and move and intercede and some words of His ways of working came to mind. the ways seem weirdly opposite but both are necessary works of the Holy Spirit
--reveal our sins and cover us over in His blood/peace
--break our hearts and bind up the broken
--wound and heal
--admonish and encourage
--pour us out and fill us up
--speak for us and hear us
Any you can think of?
--reveal our sins and cover us over in His blood/peace
--break our hearts and bind up the broken
--wound and heal
--admonish and encourage
--pour us out and fill us up
--speak for us and hear us
Any you can think of?
17 February 2009
benin
ok, i've been trying to figure out how to write this without sounded like a fractured wikipedia note about benin. i guess i'll start with a few facts and end with first impressions. unfortunately i have no photos to go with first impressions.
we arrived into port in cotonou, benin on tuesday 10 february. our original arrival was supposed to happen on monday afternoon but due to some engine trouble, we rode at anchor most of monday and then quietly slipped into our berth on tuesday. is is definitely west africa. hot. humid. a few half sunken ships in the harbor. there is a bit of leftover haze from the saharan dust cloud called the harmattan which was in the air in january.
benin itself used to be a french colony before gaining their independence. it is bordered to the east by nigeria, to the west by togo and to the north by both burkina faso and niger. the primary language is french with many tribal dialects. the primary religion according to the census is Chrisitan. almost equally as influential is islam and voodoo. in fact, benin is the voodoo capital of the world. and many combine some of their ancestral/tribal worship styles (knowingly or not) with their Christian and muslim faith practices. although there is still significan poverty, there has also been large development of the nation recently. (end of facts...check out wikipedia for more :) !)
it is almost hard to believe i am in west africa. the city on the surface seems much more developed. there are many buildings that are multi-level. they are intact, not war-damaged. the streets are paved. there are sidewalks. restaurants. the atmosphere feels safer. perhaps it is the lack of u.n. tanks. but, there are still armed guards into certain buildings and it is weird how i feel that someone standing at a gate with an assault rifle is normal. i admit to some apprehension at the level of spiritual darkness here.
but, i am glad to be here. i am glad to get the work started again. i'll share more about the work in my next couple of posts. we have our screening days on thursday and friday to evaluate the benin people as surgical candidates. if they are approved, we will "book" them for their surgery date then and we begin surgeries on tuesday 24 february. please be in prayer for both those who will be coming to the ship for surgeries and also for those who are not candidates.
sorry it's a bit boring but hopefully the next will be better =)
we arrived into port in cotonou, benin on tuesday 10 february. our original arrival was supposed to happen on monday afternoon but due to some engine trouble, we rode at anchor most of monday and then quietly slipped into our berth on tuesday. is is definitely west africa. hot. humid. a few half sunken ships in the harbor. there is a bit of leftover haze from the saharan dust cloud called the harmattan which was in the air in january.
benin itself used to be a french colony before gaining their independence. it is bordered to the east by nigeria, to the west by togo and to the north by both burkina faso and niger. the primary language is french with many tribal dialects. the primary religion according to the census is Chrisitan. almost equally as influential is islam and voodoo. in fact, benin is the voodoo capital of the world. and many combine some of their ancestral/tribal worship styles (knowingly or not) with their Christian and muslim faith practices. although there is still significan poverty, there has also been large development of the nation recently. (end of facts...check out wikipedia for more :) !)
it is almost hard to believe i am in west africa. the city on the surface seems much more developed. there are many buildings that are multi-level. they are intact, not war-damaged. the streets are paved. there are sidewalks. restaurants. the atmosphere feels safer. perhaps it is the lack of u.n. tanks. but, there are still armed guards into certain buildings and it is weird how i feel that someone standing at a gate with an assault rifle is normal. i admit to some apprehension at the level of spiritual darkness here.
but, i am glad to be here. i am glad to get the work started again. i'll share more about the work in my next couple of posts. we have our screening days on thursday and friday to evaluate the benin people as surgical candidates. if they are approved, we will "book" them for their surgery date then and we begin surgeries on tuesday 24 february. please be in prayer for both those who will be coming to the ship for surgeries and also for those who are not candidates.
sorry it's a bit boring but hopefully the next will be better =)
15 February 2009
hands
Some thoughts about God’s character revealed by descriptions of His hands.
I started a study of God’s hands to see what it revealed about His character after our Scripture memory group memorized a verse about His hands. And after reading all 1409 verses in the Bible that speak of hand (not necessarily God’s) this is what His hands say about Him…
In His hands: life, deliverance, greatness, power, abundance, good, fulfillment, eternal pleasures, salvation, discipline, awesome deeds, all things come, we are held within, healing, the world, longevity, and satisfaction.
His hands are: mighty, strong, favorable, good, majestic, omnipotent, filled with righteousness, and exalted. His hands: cover me, uphold, fight for, shadow us, help, created, sustain, and guide.
And although I read, I did not mark all the verses that spoke of His discipline…it too is His character…He disciplines those He loves but how dreadful His hand upon or against those opposed to Him.
blog about benin mid-week. sorry i haven't done it yet.
I started a study of God’s hands to see what it revealed about His character after our Scripture memory group memorized a verse about His hands. And after reading all 1409 verses in the Bible that speak of hand (not necessarily God’s) this is what His hands say about Him…
In His hands: life, deliverance, greatness, power, abundance, good, fulfillment, eternal pleasures, salvation, discipline, awesome deeds, all things come, we are held within, healing, the world, longevity, and satisfaction.
His hands are: mighty, strong, favorable, good, majestic, omnipotent, filled with righteousness, and exalted. His hands: cover me, uphold, fight for, shadow us, help, created, sustain, and guide.
And although I read, I did not mark all the verses that spoke of His discipline…it too is His character…He disciplines those He loves but how dreadful His hand upon or against those opposed to Him.
blog about benin mid-week. sorry i haven't done it yet.
06 February 2009
last days of tenerife
so i was reminded last night that i needed to blog...which i already knew but it has been hard figuring out what to blog about. although tenerife wasn't fully a vacation, it was a bit and it is hard to write about that to people at home who are praying for and financially supporting my work when i'm not really doing it for a month. but the work the deck and engineering departments did during that "vacation" time was necessary so it all works together somehow. the rest and refreshment of the time was needed as we are about to enter a season of busy-ness. we arrive to benin on monday (and more about that monday i hope) to begin the medical work again.
for now, i'll wrap up tenerife for you.
highlights...we got to go for some beautiful drives. (apart from the motion sickness of riding up mountain roads that looked as if a child developed the road plan). the island is beautiful. i'm only half joking when i say i could retire here. there is the beauty of the spanish villages tucked into the mountainside. the mountains and the ocean, my two favorite terrains tucked up next to each other. often, the higher we got into the mountains, the more a blanket of mist settled around us making far sight difficult. but then, you would come through the mist and this lush green mountain would be backdropped by the ocean waves crashing into the beach. we also were able to eat at some seriously yummy restaurants. one weekend we drove through the misting rain up towards "el teide" the slumbering volcano from which the island was birthed. it was one of those days when the mist just lifted and wow...a snow covered peak rising above fields of a ragged rocky bed where the volcano had once upon a time spewed forth rock and lava. some of the more adventurous in our group climbed about half way up but i was content to scramble over the rock bed figuring out my way up this boulder and behind that one. my last weekend in tenerife was spent camping and hiking. it was cold and wet and a blast! it misted part of our hike up to the camping area and then it began to outright rain so we arrived wet and cold. after setting up tents and getting dry-ish, the guys got a fire going and we pretty much spent the rest of the day around it eating some fantastic food (thanks to cathy) and staying warm and chatting and having a worship session and playing silly campfire games and taking a walk in the dark. the next morning, it had dried up a bit and we had a wonderful breakfast of pancakes (thanks to daniel) and fried potatoes with eggs and toast (thanks to cathy and marylou for that) and coffee and tea. shortly after we finished breakfast and another worship session, park rangers showed up and told us we couldn't camp there, burn a fire there, or park the vehicle where it was. by God's grace we had a spanish speaker with us who was able to help us clear up the mess and the rangers were very nice to let us off with a warning b/c we had an old map that designated that as a camping spot. half the group went home at this point but the rest of us opted for a hike. it was beautiful and wet and muddy. at the top of the mountain daniel shared a bit from God's Word and then hiking down and a lunch of pb&j sandwhiches before heading down to the bus and back to the ship. and getting to meet amy's dad, miriam's mom and dad, and sarah's parents and sister.
lowlights...the aforementioned park rangers. my cabin-mate and dear friend having to be hospitalized.
below are some pics from el teide and camping.
30 January 2009
sailing again
ok, i know i need to update the blog...seriously, unless the internet is super-sluggish while we sail, one is coming next week to finish out our time in tenerife.
but i did want to say hey, we sail tomorrow for benin. please keep the crew in your prayers...for safety, no seasickness and the ship will sail well after all the work done by deck/engineering these last several weeks.
thanks.
but i did want to say hey, we sail tomorrow for benin. please keep the crew in your prayers...for safety, no seasickness and the ship will sail well after all the work done by deck/engineering these last several weeks.
thanks.
01 January 2009
January 1 update
below is my newsletter
January 2009
Dear Family and Friends,
At times, it seems as if were just yesterday I was saying goodbyes and boarding a plane to Africa. But in reality, I have been in here for four months already (and likely five by the time some of you get this). I am sitting here wondering how to capture the past four months for each of you at home—how to tell you about the way I live, the work I do, the people who are my “family” here, my triumphs and struggles in this new life of mine.
My day-to-day life is quite different for some obvious some not-so-obvious reasons. First of all, I live on a 500 foot long, 8 story ship that houses my “home” and my work, the store, a gym, the laundry, a coffee shop, and a “restaurant”. I live with 3 other ladies in my cabin along with some 400 or so other crew members aboard. My cabin is roughly the size of my bedroom at home but shared with 3 other people and holding 4 closets, 4 beds, a small sitting area and a bathroom. My commute to work has decreased from approximately 30 minutes to about 30 seconds. I don’t have to worry about cooking dinner for myself after a long shift. I can’t just run to the local grocery store if I do feel like cooking or have run out of something. Some not so obvious changes are living in 24/7 community. I live out my life, good days and bad, in front of everyone. I enjoy having my friends right in the next berth but there are times when I long for solitude. And surprisingly, there are days when I feel intensely lonely despite being surrounded by the 400 other some odd crew members. Ship life itself is fairly routine. Regular community wide or departmental devotional times, work times, set meal times take up most of the day-to-day. You fit in friend time and keeping up with those at home and working out and French classes and whatever else around those things.
To tell you about work, I will share a couple of my patients and their stories with you. Work is both less and more demanding than ever before. Less in that I am working with mostly healthy individuals who are recovering from surgery. More in that their need is overwhelming. There are frustrations in how things are done differently from home or making do with what supplies we have not necessarily what I am used to working with. But the joys far outweigh the frustrations.
Meet Agnes and Alice. They represent the women with VVF—vesicovaginal fistula. This is an opening created between the bladder and birth canal by traumatic births. These women leak urine constantly and become outcast in their societies. The women often enter the hospital with despair, shame, fear and distrust. Each day as we work with them, not only taking care of their bodies but also loving them and talking with them, you can watch a growing wonder at people who would love and value them despite what their culture says. As their bodies continue to heal and they become “dry” , there is a quiet joy that starts and usually by the end of their stay they are singing and dancing in the hallways. (now that is something I don’t see at home very often!) To watch their transformation from despair to joy is so rewarding.
Dear Family and Friends,
At times, it seems as if were just yesterday I was saying goodbyes and boarding a plane to Africa. But in reality, I have been in here for four months already (and likely five by the time some of you get this). I am sitting here wondering how to capture the past four months for each of you at home—how to tell you about the way I live, the work I do, the people who are my “family” here, my triumphs and struggles in this new life of mine.
My day-to-day life is quite different for some obvious some not-so-obvious reasons. First of all, I live on a 500 foot long, 8 story ship that houses my “home” and my work, the store, a gym, the laundry, a coffee shop, and a “restaurant”. I live with 3 other ladies in my cabin along with some 400 or so other crew members aboard. My cabin is roughly the size of my bedroom at home but shared with 3 other people and holding 4 closets, 4 beds, a small sitting area and a bathroom. My commute to work has decreased from approximately 30 minutes to about 30 seconds. I don’t have to worry about cooking dinner for myself after a long shift. I can’t just run to the local grocery store if I do feel like cooking or have run out of something. Some not so obvious changes are living in 24/7 community. I live out my life, good days and bad, in front of everyone. I enjoy having my friends right in the next berth but there are times when I long for solitude. And surprisingly, there are days when I feel intensely lonely despite being surrounded by the 400 other some odd crew members. Ship life itself is fairly routine. Regular community wide or departmental devotional times, work times, set meal times take up most of the day-to-day. You fit in friend time and keeping up with those at home and working out and French classes and whatever else around those things.
To tell you about work, I will share a couple of my patients and their stories with you. Work is both less and more demanding than ever before. Less in that I am working with mostly healthy individuals who are recovering from surgery. More in that their need is overwhelming. There are frustrations in how things are done differently from home or making do with what supplies we have not necessarily what I am used to working with. But the joys far outweigh the frustrations.
Meet Agnes and Alice. They represent the women with VVF—vesicovaginal fistula. This is an opening created between the bladder and birth canal by traumatic births. These women leak urine constantly and become outcast in their societies. The women often enter the hospital with despair, shame, fear and distrust. Each day as we work with them, not only taking care of their bodies but also loving them and talking with them, you can watch a growing wonder at people who would love and value them despite what their culture says. As their bodies continue to heal and they become “dry” , there is a quiet joy that starts and usually by the end of their stay they are singing and dancing in the hallways. (now that is something I don’t see at home very often!) To watch their transformation from despair to joy is so rewarding.
Of course, my happiest times at work are the days I get to take care of the children who have had surgical procedures. Children are such a delight. Often these kids have lived a far harder life than I have experienced in my many years and their eyes hold a soul far beyond their years. It is humbling to work with each of the patients who live with so little comparatively but yet find joy and contentment in what they have.
Below are some of the children I cared for over the last few months.
I have been truly blessed by God in my extended “family” on the ship. My cabin-mates are dear friends who make me laugh and listen when I ramble and sit beside me when I cry. They have walked through both the good and hard days at my side. The members of my gateway (training class prior to coming) all get together often to just enjoy each other. My fellow nurses are fun to work with and challenge me to become a better nurse and a better person. There are new people coming all the time to the crew and regular goodbyes but it is a great family to be part of.
I’ve mentioned most of my struggles and daily I feel it a triumph if I serve my Father as He has called me. Whatever that looks like for the day, caring for my patients or walking in unity with my fellow crewmembers.
For the holiday season, we are docked in Santa Cruz, Tenerife, Canary Islands, Spain. The medical staff is having a well-deserved rest. Most of us have transferred into jobs in other parts of the ship. I am working in our coffee shop and although it is a bit surreal to serve my friends coffee, it is fun. The deck and engineering teams are putting in long hours to do ship maintenance that cannot be done when we have patients aboard. We will be sailing to Benin in late January and beginning another ten month outreach.
This work is just as much yours as it is mine and it is all for His glory. I could not be here serving if it weren’t for my gracious financial and prayer supporters. For that I thank you. And I pray that this work will bless you as well.
Below are some of the children I cared for over the last few months.
I have been truly blessed by God in my extended “family” on the ship. My cabin-mates are dear friends who make me laugh and listen when I ramble and sit beside me when I cry. They have walked through both the good and hard days at my side. The members of my gateway (training class prior to coming) all get together often to just enjoy each other. My fellow nurses are fun to work with and challenge me to become a better nurse and a better person. There are new people coming all the time to the crew and regular goodbyes but it is a great family to be part of.
I’ve mentioned most of my struggles and daily I feel it a triumph if I serve my Father as He has called me. Whatever that looks like for the day, caring for my patients or walking in unity with my fellow crewmembers.
For the holiday season, we are docked in Santa Cruz, Tenerife, Canary Islands, Spain. The medical staff is having a well-deserved rest. Most of us have transferred into jobs in other parts of the ship. I am working in our coffee shop and although it is a bit surreal to serve my friends coffee, it is fun. The deck and engineering teams are putting in long hours to do ship maintenance that cannot be done when we have patients aboard. We will be sailing to Benin in late January and beginning another ten month outreach.
This work is just as much yours as it is mine and it is all for His glory. I could not be here serving if it weren’t for my gracious financial and prayer supporters. For that I thank you. And I pray that this work will bless you as well.
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