called...

Acts 1:8 "but you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and all Judea and Samaria and to the ends of the earth."

we are all called...called to witness, called to service. it is easier sometimes to say that this person or that person is called to do God's work but this verse leaves no excuses. God doesn't give us a choice if we are His. we WILL be, not should be or could be, but WILL be His witnesses. it is up to us what kind of witness we will be. and we all have a jerusalem, judea/samaria and ends of the earth. for me, my jerusalem right now is here on the ship. my judea/samaria is west africa. and my ends of the earth, surprisingly, is home. the prayers and letters and thoughts and emails i think/send towards home. but those who are "home" have their jerusalem in their city and so on until their ends of the earth reach all the way to me and those i interact with daily. and that each of us should have some time of witness that is close and far reaching. whether it is in praying for those in the "ends of the earth" or just living Jesus in front of your neighbor. we each are called to be a witness to our jerusalem/judea/samaria/ends of the earth.

this was a life focus changing verse for me. to realize that i didn't have to be called to be His witness (although for now, i do feel called to what once was my ends of the earth) but that it is my work to be His witness wherever i am.

just a thought to share.

salsa dancing in west africa

this weekend was a ship holiday weekend meaning all non-essential activities got the day off--the academy, the OR, non-duty deck and engineering. a nice break to just enjoy the country or some down time on ship. some times on ship, it can seem as if you are drowning in time...way too much time available for not that many activities. life is not necessarily less busy than at home, you just take out the commute to wherever it is that you go to do the things you do. so, with a lot more free time, you've got to be pretty creative at amusing yourselves...card games, sock golf championships, 80's dance party on deck 8, scavenger hunts, going out on the town, movies in the international lounge, etc.

so, friday evening was another one of those how to fill the time and please let it be something different than every day stuff. so we went dancing. and now, i have been dancing on three different continents...swing/salsa/country at home, a celeidh in scotland and now, salsa dancing in west africa. it was a blast. 8 of us went from the ship (6 girls, 2 guys) and the first hour or so was lessons of basic salsa and the cha-cha. the africans who were there dancing with us had moves! and, being that the guy-girl ratio was bad, i did end up having to break my rule about only dancing with people i know. saturday was spent at one of the hotels at the pool where i developed a nose red enough to help santa at Christmas or direct shipping traffic and a nice red circle on my back that just matches the cut out circle on my swimsuit. but the day was lovely and relaxing.

the stories you don't hear

for all the stories that get told on my blog and the other mercy shippers' blogs, there are so many stories that you don't hear. some are stories of heartache. some are stories of rejoicing at healing after surgery. but the one i want to share today is yet a different kind.

i don't know the names of the people in these stories. in fact, i may or may not have met the people in these stories at screening day. and i have heard their story second hand this time. the people in these stories are the ones that didn't show up for surgery. we saw them in mid-february at screening and scheduled them for surgery. and their surgery date came and went and they didn't show. when they were contacted later to see why, "i didn't need to come any more. the (lump, bump, etc) was gone." wow! although i think there are only 2 stories i've heard so far that this is the case, it is awe-inspiring and humbling. awe-inspiring b/c the Father still is the Great Physician and humbling b/c He doesn't need us but He graciously allows us to be part of His work.

i can only imagine...

this morning i went to "beach church". now, i expected to have church on the beach but i didn't really know what to expect. i thought it would be an african gathering on the beach. instead, it was an intimate group of fellow shipmates. we sang along with worship songs off of paul's ipod and then paul shared a bit about what God had been teaching him and then we just talked about what he shared and things in our own hearts. after the "service" we wandered a bit around the beach (a few went swimming). the water was cool, the day overcast and a during part of the time, there was a gentle rain falling. hmmmm, happy, happy, walking on the beach in the rain =)

one of our songs we sang along to was mercy me's "i can only imagine". while we were singing the chorus, i did try to imagine that time of Homecoming. "surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel? will i dance for You Jesus or in awe of You be still? will i stand in Your Presence or to my knees will i fall? will i sing hallelujah? will i be able to speak at all?" the Father gave me a small glimpse i think.

i get stuck on worship looking like singing sometimes even though i know it is supposed to be my whole life as worship. (it doesn't help that we call singing worship and that some of the worship pictured in Revelation is elders singing 'Holy, Holy, Holy' around the throne). i have heard people say that if this is what Heaven looks like, it sounds unspeakably dull. but my glimpse this morning was of life! not life as we understand it in the here and now...this world is but a shadow of the one to come (Heb 9) and while some things will be different like no marriage (Mt 22) some seem the same living in mansions on streets of gold (Jn 14, Rev 21). but since everything will be made new, made perfect, so, too, will worship be perfect and not the shadow and copy that we do here. it won't just look like praising in song but it will truly be LIFE as worship. like we should strive for in the here and now.

perhaps others of you see this as a "duh" post but for me, it was a new glimpse and understanding of my Father.

when push comes to shove

when push comes to shove, when i'm caught between a rock and hard place, when the other shoe drops, when the cloud has no silver lining...can i trust God? can i trust in His goodness in the "dead of night"?...and the answer is yes, but sometimes just barely. i know my last post talked about contentment in brokenness...and i am. but there are days when it there is so much piled on that it is hard to breathe. how to trust God then? and it is in the dark times that the lessons learned in the light have to be lived and held on to even when my own strength falters.

today is a day like that. my sister-in-law's (holly) sister-in-law (erin) almost died after childbirth last night. my nephew had his first visit to the ER this week. holly's dad (keegan) is in remote mexico while his family hurts and needs him to be home. and a few other dropped shoes this week that i heard about with an early morning (in texas) phone call. and all this hurts me, so far away. i can't change anything but proximity in being home but i feel torn in times like this. knowing i'm supposed to be here and mostly wanting to be here. but also desperately wanting to be there. and i have to hold on to the lessons God taught me before both in the valley and on the mountain top. but i won't lie, today it is hard. i ask for your prayers for my family (erin and bryce and baby kyah, holly and greg and the kids, bethany, keegan and terry, me) that He would comfort and heal and give strength.

but i also want to praise Him even in the darkness...to praise Him that He even thinks of us at all with thoughts of mercy and love and not just righteous vengeance which is really all we're due from His hand. to thank Him for the gift of laughter yesterday...my day that was filled with so much laughter my head hurt a bit this morning. for the delighted screams of the little girl down in the ward who sports the biggest grin. for the smile of joshua where the dimples become more pronounced when he gets that shy grin he gets sometimes. for friends who pray. for friends who will laugh with me but also for the ones who will smile with me. for the color blue. and even for the color diabetic urine yellow =) for the smell (but not the taste) of coffee. for ocean waves crashing on the shore. for a bird in flight seemingly suspended in air by absolutely nothing. and so much more. God IS good.