heartache

warning...this post is a grim reminder of the sinful, fallen, broken world in which we live.

the first time i saw baby "o" he was emaciated and lethargic. we weren't sure if he would live through the weekend. and yet, he was a hungry baby and as soon as we started feeding him, he perked up and ate as well as he could. he came to us with a cleft lip and palate and because of the feeding difficulties these cause, he was literally starving. his mom's milk had dried up because he didn't eat well. so, he came to us for a few weeks here on the ship. as he was growing slowly but nicely on a feeding program, we sent him to the hospitality center to feed and grow until he would reach a weight of 3 kg (6.6 lbs) so he could have his lip repaired. (the palate repair would come a few months later). soon, it was time for his first surgery. baby "o" didn't seem to know what to do with his "new" lip at first but quickly adapted and started putting on weight even more rapidly. and so baby "o" and mom went home until it was time to return for the palate repair.

today, we received news from the local hospital that baby "o" had passed away...that he had literally been starved to death. medical illnesses are often viewed as a curse here. and though now baby "o" looked more normal, his village still viewed him as cursed. and mom had no support apart from the social worker at the local hospital. and so she stopped coming for formula and stopped feeding him and he died...an innocent baby, not cursed but with a common birth defect that is so easily repaired.

i have to be honest, i don't understand. it is a terrible thing that happened in this broken world we live in. but i am not despairing...i know WHO wins!!! and it is NOT the prince of this world. though he wins some battles, he will ultimately lose to the God of all creation, the God of the universe. and He will one day remake this broken world and there will be no more tears and no more heartache. and it is not mine to sit back idly and just wait...i am to fight on my knees and thru His love and by His grace.

where are we?

joshua farrell came to visit our cabin today for a few minutes. he is a most adorable toddler who wants to know why? what? and where? (usually over and over). we have a large map of africa with all the countries marked in different colours on the wall. he asked what? i told him it was a map of africa. why? not really sure how to answer that one. but i pointed out where we were (benin). a few why/where/what questions later he pointed to benin and said something along the lines of this is where i am. brilliant. =)

enter, uncle sam. let's have some of the same conversation again for his sake. uncle sam asked, joshua, where are we?

on a ship! amy and i cracked up and joshua grinned although i'm not sure he understood why it was so funny to us but hilarious.

surprised by pain

there is a book called "the problem of pain" by c.s. lewis. it talks about how hard a time people have believing in a good loving gracious God when there is pain and tragedy in the world. it is a great book. i highly recommend it.
we are currently doing pediatric orthopedic surgeries on board. there is a period about 4-6 hours after anesthesia where the kids "wake up" in extreme pain. they have already been physically awake but then they are "surprised" by this emerging pain. now, we as medical professionals expect this emergence of pain. it is a hard surgery. but in order to fix what was wrong, pain will be involved. so if we expect that there will be pain when fixing something physically wrong, why are we surprised by pain when fixing something spiritually wrong? why are we surprised by pain being in this world broken by our sins? why are we surprised when God's Word says in this world we will have trouble?
i don't know why we are surprised by pain. and i say we b/c even with my understanding of this today it doesn't mean that i won't be surprised by some pain tomorrow.
the only thing to do is to take heart and hope in what else the Word says..."take heart, I have overcome the world!"